Not yet, Baby Girl Holmes....

We were very hopeful, we were very excited, we asked our Heavenly Father to give us our baby girl in June, but his answer was "not just yet...". Our hearts hurt, I've shed many tears, but I know that God is in control. I found out last Friday, and at first, I was just plain sad. To be completely honest, I had a difficult time holding it together for about the first 24 hrs after hearing the news, because my hopes were SO HIGH! Then, as I was standing in church Sunday morning, during praise and worship, I just felt a peace come over me, and I knew that God was working in my heart. In my mind, matching in June was the best thing I could imagine, but God spoke to my heart that His plans are better, they are even better than I can imagine! What I had planned was pretty great, just let me tell you, so that's an exciting thought! ;-) Isaiah 55:8 says, " 'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,' says the LORD. 'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.' " So, although waiting does not sound fun (let's be real), I know in my heart that what God has in store for us and for our baby girl is far better than anything we can plan, His plan is what's best for our family, and His plan is what we want.

Now, many of you are wondering what happens next. Well, guess what...... WE WAIT!!!!! The next time our agency matches families is September. So, we continue praying and continue hoping, and wait and see what God has in store! We think that we are #2 or #3 on the waiting list now, although, as I've said before, that doesn't mean a whole lot, because the process of matching is much more complicated than just going down the list. Nonetheless, September definitely holds exciting potential for us. In the next couple months, there won't be a whole lot of "adoption stuff" to blog about, but I hope to take time to post a little bit about our summer fun. We're still hopeful that it could be our last full summer as a family of 3, and traveling with 1 child is much easier than with 2, so we're gonna live it up as much as we can!

I'd like to take just a minute to write a note to all the other waiting moms (or dads) out there. If you're reading this and you've been waiting a long time (I've heard recently of some waiting over 2 years!), I pray for God to give you renewed strength and hope everyday, and I pray that your happy day is coming very soon! I just can not wrap my brain around the idea of waiting that long, but I know that His mercies are new everyday, and I pray that you're all leaning on them. If you're reading, and you've just gone on a waiting list and you're already feeling discouraged, you are SO NOT ALONE! I've learned that it doesn't matter how long you've been waiting, it's hard immediately! We are all in love with these precious children that God has chosen just for us, and our hearts yearn to have them home, so don't feel weak, you're not weak, you're normal. The best thing you can do for yourself is find other adoptive mommas to connect with that will let you pour your heart out. Hearing someone else say, "I know, I feel exactly the same way..." lifts a load off your heart, trust me! I would love to hear from you, feel free to email me at jennandjasonholmes@gmail.com .

Thanks for reading, everyone, please keep praying! Our God is awesome and faithful and we really can't wait to see what He's been up to! ;-)