Remember that last post about surrendering????

Maybe you've heard before, "adoption is not for the faint of heart..." That may be one of the truest statements ever spoken, and I am realizing it more and more every day. It is LONG, it is EMOTIONAL, and it is COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR CONTROL!!!!! As most of you have heard by now, there is horrendous flooding in Thailand, the worst flooding the country has seen in over 50 years! One of the most severely affected areas is the province where our baby girl resides with her foster family, as well as nearly 70 other children that are waiting to come home to their forever families. We have been receiving general updates from Holt's sister agency(HSF), in Thailand, and we know that it is bad. They are using words such as critical and devastating, nothing you want to hear about the land your child is living in. Don't get me wrong, my heart would ache for the people living in such disarray, no matter what, but this is different. It is not something that can be explained adequately in words, but once you see the face of YOUR CHILD, there's an immediate connection. Although I've never held her, never kissed her soft cheeks, never smelled her sweet baby smell, she is mine. God has given her to me and I love her with my whole heart, it's already done, there's no holding back. So, you can attempt to imagine what it feels like to know she is living in such horrible conditions, and to be helpless. We do know that HSF is working very hard to maintain contact with all of the families, at least weekly. They have told us that all families and all foster children are safe, but most have been displaced from their homes. The ones that are still living in their homes are living only on second floors, and until the water recedes, the extent of the damage can not be assessed. Some have moved to shelters and others have moved in with relatives. We do not know where Jade(Oops, never posted that! We named her Jade, middle name is still TBA) and her foster family is, in particular, we only know those general statements. HSF is providing relief to all the families, on a weekly basis, so we know that they still have resources to care for the children well. However, anyone who has children knows that, in your mind, no one can care for YOUR CHILD as well as you can. If they would let me, I would pack and be on a plane in an hour, to bring her home where I can take care of her, where I can keep her safe, where I can be her mommy, but I can't. I long to have her with me, at home, to hold her tight, kiss her boo-boos, rock her to sleep and be her protector, but it's just not time yet. And reality is, even when she is here with me, I still won't be in control, because she is a CHILD OF GOD, whether she's with me or whether she's still in Thailand. He is her protector and provider of her every need, just as He is for my child that is at home with me. So, although I feel beyond helpless, I am not, because I have a relationship with our Heavenly Father, and I know He holds her and all the other children waiting in the palm of His hand. I may be physically helpless, but I can pray and I will continue to do just that, until He brings us together to be the family He's called us to be. Again, the Lord is reminding us, we have to surrender to Him and trust in His perfect plan!

Now, I'm sure most of you are wondering, as we were, if this will mean delays in our process, and the sad truth is, it probably will. A dear friend of mine was scheduled for a Dec. 1 court date to bring her little one home. We were all so excited to see them bring her home for Christmas, and you can imagine their excitement! Then yesterday they were told they would now be rescheduled for February :-(. Please lift them up in prayer, it's a devastating let down. They will have been waiting to bring her home for over a year by the time they're united with her. The government offices are still open and working, but the HSF workers are overwhelmed with providing all the families in Thailand with relief. Plus, they feel it is unsafe at this time for people to be traveling into the country and to be transporting children within the country, with the flooding only getting worse. Flooding is expected to reach Bangkok very soon. For us, they're telling us it could delay our process by a couple months, which would mean travel in August/September, rather than June/July. It is sad news, NO DOUBT, but guess what???? It's OUT OF OUR CONTROL and it's ALL IN HIS CONTROL!!!! I want my baby and all of my friends' babies home as soon as possible, but I do believe in God's perfect timing, as I've said before, and no flood or any other disaster can mess Him up! HIS WILL will be done! I am praying that it all gets caught up and Jade is still home with us by early next summer, but above that, I am praying that God comforts all of our hearts, as we wait, and continues to reveal Himself to us through this process. He is good, He loves us, He loves our children, and He is sovereign.

Please remember the people of Thailand in your prayers. As of now, the flooding is still getting worse, but even after the water goes down, their recovery will be long and hard, and their resources are not great, but our God is! 

Psalm 29:10 The LORD rules over the floodwaters. The LORD reigns as king forever!