"It is Well with my Soul"...

HAPPY 2012! This is the year that we will bring our daughter home, and that indeed, is happy! Well, it's probably been assumed since I didn't post again last week, but updates did not come before Christmas, which was a little sad, but we still had a blessed and Merry Christmas and we opened some presents for baby Jade anyway. We were pumped because we knew updates and pictures would come in December still, so we ("we" meaning "I", because Jason is the most patient person I've met in my life, so much so that it's annoying at times, but mostly comforting... in an annoying way ;-) ) clicked the refresh button on our email every 5 minutes, just waiting for that email to come through, and then on Friday, it came... and I cried... Yes, it was so highly anticipated, and I just knew it would be happy, but it was NOT HAPPY! I could not wait to open that email and watch a new pic of my beautiful girl pop up on my screen, smiling and see those precious, perfect lips again, but what I saw was the exact same picture we already had. Don't get me wrong, she was still beautiful and still had perfectly perfect lips, but I wanted a new one to stare at! Talk about a let down, it was major! At first, I tried to believe it was a mistake, but then I opened up the progress report, which was basically empty and I began reading what was written below it... 

More or less, what this report told us was that Jade's foster family is in an area where they have not been easily accessible to go and take pictures and spend the time it takes to do a full exam for a normal progress report, because of the "Great Flood". They have been speaking with them daily on the phone, and they have been delivering food and supplies weekly by taking a truck provided by the military with a boat connected to it. I know many of you are thinking and some have been asking, "why can't they do the report or take some pictures if they've been there weekly?" To be completely honesty, I'm not sure of all the reasons why, but I am guessing that they are understaffed, overworked, and they've had more important things to do... Yes, I'm human and a part of me inside has been screaming, "What's more important than showing me my baby girl and telling me how amazing she is?!?!" However, they have hundreds of children and families that depend on them, and they have had to ensure the safety and well being of them all during this disaster, so they've had to prioritize, and although I'm disappointed I haven't seen pictures of my sweet girl since she was 4 months and now she's 10 months, I'm also very thankful that they continue to reassure us that she and her foster family is safe and she's growing and developing as she should be (insert tears here). The very vague report did tell us that Jade is "meeting expectations" in all areas of development and that her foster family did not have to leave their home. They live in a 2 story house and they have been living on the upper level only since the flooding became bad in early September. The water has been up to 3 meters in/around their home, which is about 10 feet. It also told us that if they do have to travel from their home they use a paddle boat for short distances and a motor boat for longer distances... :-( rip my heart out and stomp on it with spiked shoes!!!!!!! 

Needless to say, it was difficult to accept that, for now, this is all we know, and it may be all we know until March when standard updates should come again. However, we have to remind ourselves that she is in God's hands and He knows and He sees and He comforts and He'scontinuingtoteachmepatiencebutseriouslyIwishHe'dconsideritTAUGHTALREADY!!!!!!!!!! ;-) The evening after we received this news, I was just down, I wasn't asking God what He wanted me to learn, and to be completely transparent with you, I wasn't even asking Him for comfort, I was just sad and kinda mad and just had myself a little pity party. Then, the next morning as I was driving, I turned on an album of hymns by Avalon and as He so often does in rough times of my life, God just began to speak to my heart through one of the songs on there... "When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well, with my soul." Again, He had to remind me that I have to have faith in Him to complete this work He has started in our life, and I can't question the "why's?" and "how's?", I just have to know that He is in control and no matter what I'm feeling, I need to learn to say, "It is well with my soul..." 

Many families did receive at least some new pics, but many other families are in the same boat with us, and they got nothin'. Our agency has told us all that they plan to request more information and pictures early if possible, rather than waiting until March, but right now we really don't know when that may happen, so we just wait. This Tuesday our time (Wednesday Thai time) is a board date in Thailand when they will review several families' cases and hopefully give them approval to travel to bring their children home, so if you think about it that day, please say a prayer for all of those families! A couple of them that have become friends of mine received their referrals in March of 2011, so they should have gotten their approval back in the fall, but because of a combination of things, it didn't happen then, so it's time!!!! It's also good news for us if these approvals start rolling, because the more families they approve each time, the quicker it'll be our turn! Right now, our agency workers are predicting we should receive approval in April, which would mean traveling around June/July. 

In the meantime, I'm trying to stay busy and keep my mind occupied. Today, I started the P90 workout program again and we've decided to try "Paleo eating" in this house again (Jason and I, not Jax, it would be child abuse for him, since he gags if he looks at anything green unless it's am M&M). If you aren't familiar with Paleo, it's eating meat, vegetables, nuts, and seeds, and cutting out starches and glutens from your diet. Basically, it's torture for your body when you've been living on sugar and carbs for the last 6 months! Everyone may wanna shy away from our house until we've had enough time to come out of the carb withdrawals, we might be a little crabby! I'll try to post some recipes that I try if they're ones we like, just in case any of you would like to join us on the dark side of low carb eating...."Whoooaahahahahahahhahahaha!!!!"(that was my best sinister laugh in case you didn't get it)  Seriously though, we ate this way pretty consistently for about 3 months, back in the spring/summer and it was the best I've felt probably ever, it's the real deal, but I'm not gonna lie, it's real hard at times too. We're pretty determined to stick to it and get into great shape this time, so hold me to it, blogger friends! :-)

I hope you are all getting your new year off to a great start and looking forward to the amazing, exciting things God has in store for us all!!!!!