Comic Relief...

3 year olds are tough... I'm here to tell ya! But they are also HILARIOUS!!!!! I'm pretty certain Jax has been talking since he was about 2 weeks old (yes, slight exaggeration), so at age 3, I don't really remember a time without him talking, but he just keeps getting funnier...

He loves to watch movies and he remembers certain "one liners" and then uses them later on... correctly, in context! For example, the other day we had to take him to get an update on a shot that he hadn't received yet, and as we were in the waiting room, 2 little kids came up to him to check out his Jessie doll. He's not a fan of sharing (if there's a 3 year old out there that his, PLEASE tell me your secret), so I was a little concerned that he was going to knock the children down, and run out the door screaming. However, to my pleasant surprise, he just grinned a slightly fake grin, and let them pull the string and listen to her for a moment, then as they kept getting closer and really began to invade his personal space, he backed up into Jason and I and said, "I'm officiallwy fweaked out now..." We looked at each other in disbelief and I asked J, "Did he say 'officially'?" Later that afternoon we were watching Toy Story 2, and come to find out, that's exactly what Woody says to Jessie in one of the scenes.

I could go on for many, many more paragraphs, but I'll just share this one other story for now. The latest time he's given me a good dose of laughter was this morning, as we were getting in the car. Before I put him in his carseat, he wanted to walk out into the driveway to "check the weather". So, I watched as he took a few steps out of the garage, then he came back in and crawled into his seat. As I was buckling him in, I asked, just for kicks, "Do you want to be a weatherman when you grow up?" He promptyly replied, "No, not anyfing..." I said, "Well, you have to be something, so you can make money to take care of your family one day like Daddy does." He then shot back at me, very matter of factly, "No, I not gonna be a doctor, or a prisoner, or a rainman (IE: weatherman) !" Oh well, I guess we've got a few years to teach him about work ethic, staying out of jail,  and how we get $$$ to buy cheese puffs, but for now, we'll just keep laughing!

What's it all mean?

I've had a lot people asking, "What now?". Well, now that we're on the waiting list, we wait. As I said in the last post, we could receive a referral as early as September, but there's also potential we could have to wait 'til next March (I'm praying HARD that's not the case). We are #12 on the list, but that really doesn't mean a whole lot. When Holt receives a referral group, they have to take many things into consideration, such as age, gender, and severity (if any) of special needs, then compare them with the specifications of each family on the list. They may only receive 1 referral in some groups, although all of us waiting are hopeful that they'll receive more than that, WAY MORE, because the more that come in, the quicker we'll get to our babies! So, just because someone's #5 on the list, doesn't mean they'll receive a match if there's 5 referrals, there are lots of factors that determine that. Holt receives referrals 4 times a year, March-June-September-December. We know there's no chance of us receiving a referral in June, although yes, "with God all things are possible". However, even though we know God could make it happen, we are not at all holding our breath to receive a match in June. Now, you bet your bottom dollar my phone won't leave my side for a second in September! ;-) So, if we are blessed enough to receive a referral in September, and accept it, then we will have to be approved (I'll be honest, I'm not even sure how all these steps work, so I won't attempt to explain them). Once we're approved, we will then get travel dates and a court date. Our travel dates will be at least 6 months after referral, and could be as much as 10 months after referral. I understand to many of you, this sounds like forever, it seems like worlds away, and there are times when it feels that way to me. But honestly, I feel very peaceful, I feel confident that God called us to this journey, and I know he's guiding us every step of the way, and we know that He's always right on time. We are trying to use this time of waiting to focus on the 3 year old blessing we already have ;-), and just cherish these moments that we have to devote only to him. We talk about "Baby Sister" all the time, and we pray for her every night. He asks lots of questions, and he's certain that her name will be "Baby Sister", and we're sure that he's going to fit into the role of Big Brother just perfectly. As I'm waiting, I'm finding joy and encouragement in following along with friends' journeys, as they prepare to receive matches and some prepare to bring their children home. Rather than worry about when we'll receive our referral, I'm going to choose to rejoice with them, because I know one day, they'll be jumping for joy with me too!

REALLY??? LIKE, SERIOUSLY??? WE REALLY ARE??? SO EXCITING!!!!!

I feel like maybe I should preface this post by explaining why I starting blogging about our adoption in the first place, because so far, most of my "followers"(that's hilarious) are people that have already adopted or are just friends/family of mine. So, my reason for blogging was twofold; part of my reason for starting this blog was because I found encouragement and inspiration from reading other adoption blogs, before we ever began the process, so I hoped that maybe I could be the same for someone else one day. My other reason for starting it was just to keep a record throughout the process for my own terrible memory and to share with our loved ones, so they could feel like they were sort of traveling with us on this  journey. So, I'm sorry if some of you get bored with reading about the "ins and outs" of adoption (if you do, you could probably just scan the bold, large print, and catch the jist of my posts) :-), but I hope that one day, maybe some other couple that's considering adoption or just entered into the process will stumble onto this blog and find some encouragement and inspiration in reading about our experience. If anyone out there in the great unknown is reading this and you're one of those "stumblers", I'd love it if you'd leave me a comment and let me know!


So, now for the exciting news.....



WE ARE NOW ON THE WAITING LIST FOR A MATCH!!!!! It feels a little surreal, to be honest. It felt so surreal, in fact, that I emailed our contact at Holt, just to make sure she really meant it when she said, "you're now on the list...", not that she would joke about that, but I just didn't think it would be so fast! Anywho, she said it was the truth, so we're psyched! She also told us that if things continue to move as quickly as they have been, we could receive a match as early as September!!! It's only an estimate, but it's a super exciting estimate, nonetheless! During the early stages of this process, it felt like it would be forever to get to this point, so to be here now, it's kinda crazy, but a good crazy.


When we began this process (a little over 6 months ago), it was incredibly overwhelming to me. The ladies that work for our agency, Holt International Children's Services, are wonderful, but they're also on the complete opposite side of the country. I tried once to convince one of them to come stay with us for just a few days, but she never agreed to it ;-). So, although they were very helpful from afar, I still felt a tremendous amount of pressure. I was afraid I would do something wrong or I wouldn't do something quickly enough, I was just very stressed at times about the whole process. However, looking back over the last few months, although parts of it were a little stressful, it wasn't nearly as difficult as I feared it would be. Don't get me wrong, it's a lot of work, and by the time you're finished, you are only one step away from being cleared to work for the Secret Service (haha, joke...but really), but overall, if you take it one step at a time, and ask for help anytime you feel unsure, before you know it, you'll be at the "waiting stage". And, let me tell ya, it feels good here :-).


With that being said, I'm sure the waiting will get old, and I'll get stressed about waiting and not being able to do anything about it, because that's me, I tend to be a stresser. However, we are trusting in God's perfect timing and His plan for our family. We know that he's in control and we know that whatever He works out will be nothing less than AWESOME, because that's how he rolls, right? ;-)

On it's way... On our way!!!!!

Now that is one exciting picture! We received our dossier back in the mail on Saturday, and I did shout "Hallelujah!". I have to give the USPS some credit, they got it back to me safely, however, I will be sending all important documents FedEx from now on. I had no way of tracking where it was and when, which drove me nuts. So, if you're reading this and you're in the beginning stages of the process and you're wondering whether you should use FedEx or USPS, my advice is go FedEx, for your own peace of mind. Trust me, your peace of mind is worth the extra $$$, and your significant other will be thankful that you're peaceful ;-). So, like I said, we got it Saturday, and as of about 10AM today, it's en route to Holt!!!! It is scheduled to arrive Wednesday morning by 10:30AM and I have a tracking number, Praise the Lord!!!!! For those of you that are not familiar with this process, the next step is officially taking a spot on the waiting list, which means within about a month or so, we will be on the list waiting to see what child (or children, gotta throw that one in for my husband, it thrills him! **insert sarcasm**) God has planned for us to love!!!

Being at this point in the process is very exciting and brings such relief to me, knowing that the paperwork is over, at least the hardest part of the paperwork, and more importantly, knowing I'm 1 HUGE step closer to meeting my child. However, another blogger somewhere out there in the great blogging world made me realize that this isn't a time of overwhelming joy for everyone involved. It also means that somewhere there's a mother that has gone through an entire pregnancy, knowing that this dreadful day was coming, a day when she would have to say good-bye to the child that she felt kicking inside her. She may be unwed and have to give up the child to avoid being shunned by her family. She may be living in such poverty that she knows she wouldn't be able to feed her child. Whatever the reason is, this is a decision that most of us can't even begin to imagine having to make.  In many cases, there are also foster parents and orphanage workers involved, people that have loved and cared for this child maybe since they were born, and although I'm sure they're glad to see this child be blessed with a forever family, I'm sure it also hurts to see them go. Not to mention, this sweet baby girl that will be leaving everything and everyone she knows and moving to a foreign land with strangers, it would be selfish and somewhat foolish to think that this is going to be a time of pure joy for her.  We're heading into a time that will hold great joy for our family, but it will hold equally as much pain and hurt for others involved, and I think it is so important that we remember those birth mothers, foster parents, and our children and pray for the God of all comfort and peace to give them the comfort that only He can give. Don't get me wrong, I'm beyond excited to think that in just a few short months, I will have a picture and a name and know who my baby is, I REALLY AM!!! However, sometimes my excitement and happiness shield me from reality, and reality is, some people will go through extreme pain, in order for this child to join our family, and I'll be forever grateful to all of them, because without them, we may have never been blessed with our sweet baby girl (I know she's not here yet, but we all know she's gonna be sweet and precious and beautiful and every other word I ever use to describe her, just you wait and see! ;-) ).